It’s been a very, very long time since I blogged. The main reason is that I have no life right now. Work is pretty consuming and I’m so tired that by the time I get home, I fall onto my couch and don’t move. September was somewhat of a roller coaster and I truly hope October will be a peaceful month. I’m looking forward to cooling temperatures and crunchy leaves. I am so disappointed that the only Hawkeye game I’ve been to is the one in Chicago. I keep missing opportunities for games. I won’t even be going to homecoming this weekend. This makes me a little sad and kind of nostalgic for my marching band days, but not as much as I had expected.
I ran into a girl a few weeks ago who was in band with me. She was younger than I was and I had been her undergraduate staff instructor. She introduced me to her friend as “the biggest bitch…but she knows her shit.” (Pardon the language). I was a little taken aback. I guess I wasn’t the nicest person when I was in band. I’ve come to peace with that now. I think being in an organization that large and dynamic changes a person, and maybe not for the best. I guess we all have alter egos of some kind. I’m just sad that mine was a mean one. But I’m not that girl anymore. I’m not even a shadow of the girl I was last year. I can’t believe how much has changed over the last 12 months.
As usual, I’ve been reevaluating my life and wishing for more. More money, more friends, more time, more fun. Why can’t people be happy with what they have? Why can’t I be happy with my life? I feel restless again. I need change and adventure. I wish I could plan a big trip. I still don’t feel like I belong in this town, even though it’s my permanent address, my license plates are Johnson county, I’m registered to vote here and I know this city better than my hometown. Ugh! This is so silly! I need to perk up. It’s time to get out of the bitter barn and go play in the hay!
Peace and Love
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